Lost & Found
by Blackrock Soldier
Summary: When Honeydew ends up being thrown away, he finds he's not only lost his place, but himself as well. Yogscast fic.


Honeydew was always trapped beneath the perpetual fabrication that everything was completely fine. In the place he was meant to exist in, the only one who could listen was the same one who caused him pain. Even if he told the truth about how he really felt on the inside, it would only make him feel worse. The lie was better. Telling the truth would only elicit an uninterested response, he believed. There was no point in anything. There was no point in him. But he did have a purpose. He was created for a reason. Even if he was merely a mirror of the original. It was just his only clutch couldn't express anything anymore.

After suffering the loss of his only friend, Xephos was nothing but broken, unable to show anyone or anything the warmth that was needed. Even he began deteriorating more and more as the days separated kept adding up, and yet, he still took notice that the clone he had made to soften the emotional blow was also beginning to fall victim to the stress as it tried to keep up with his ever changing emotional state. Eventually they both knew that things could only be restored by the real Honeydew waking up from his eternal sleep, but they also knew that it couldn't happen. Xephos would rather fall apart than force his friend to choose a mortal life. He'd rather do anything as long as he suffered alone for it, but clone Honeydew was all too late to realize as they almost reached the breaking point; a solution desperately decided upon without him knowing.

As they had done many times before, walking the halls of Yoglabs, one followed after the other expecting another day of rigorous testing, but as the rooms passed, something started to feel very off. It was quieter than usual. The spaceman who portrayed himself as a scientist seemed incredibly tense and worried, but as he knew he should, Honeydew followed behind without questioning anything. Either engineered that way or just out of respect, he couldn't bring himself to.

Turning corner after corner, the inner workings of Yoglabs seemed to fuse together and shift into a maze. At least for Honeydew who began following a bit too close in fear of getting left behind or lost in it, only to bump into the back of Xephos when he finally came to a stop.

"S-sorry!"" He said flustered, jumping back to try and make it a bit less awkward.

Not even acknowledging it, Xephos pointed towards the door they had finally managed to find, "You go in first."

Relieved that his little moment didn't seem to phase anyone but him, he gladly did as he was told; stepping towards the door as it slid open automatically, and what he saw was not expected at all. On the other side, there was nothing. As he looked down, all he could see was an abyss with the bottom nowhere in sight.

"I'm the one who's sorry." Xephos' voice came from behind him while the confusion seemed to freeze Honeydew at the edge, "you've done nothing wrong, but before you suffer anymore, I'll put you out of your misery. You are just a clone after all. I can easily replace you until you break again."

Honeydew was shaking. If the fear would have allowed him, he would have tried to move away, but so much overwhelmed him, all he could do was cry, "b-but I'm not broken. I'm just- don't do this. Pl-"

Feeling a sharp blow to his head, it was far too late to find something to say in order to step away from the edge as he lost his grip and fell down into the darkness. It was so quick that Xephos had no time to go back on his decision as he still stood there actually shocked that he had done it. After waiting too long for something that he wasn't even sure of, he finally turned away and closed the door. The silence that followed seemed to haunt him. He knew it had to be done, but even so, there would be no way to repent for it. All he could do was try to forget it happened until it needed to be repeated once again. Covering his mouth as if to stop himself from screaming, he turned and slowly forced himself to walk away.

With no light to show the way, a comatose Honeydew was falling into what seemed like nothing. He wasn't dead yet, but as the bottom was getting closer, his body collided with whatever was in the way repeatedly. If he were human that certainly would have killed him immediately, however scraping by with nothing but bruises and scrapes, he finally reached the end of the fall with a horrible thud.

It was strange, practically a miracle, that he still wasn't dead. Though it couldn't be ignored that the impact was incredibly harsh, his body had somehow endured everything. Lying all alone in an unfamiliar place after being essentially backstabbed by the only person who gave him meaning, the real thing beyond repair was his emotional state. His will to get up nonexistent. But there was something even more important missing. He couldn't remember why he felt the way he did. He couldn't remember anything. His head was pounding so badly that the pain was all he could think about.

"Where am I?" He had asked no one, as he finally managed to get to his feet, feeling a bit lightheaded; clutching his head to no avail. "I don't know what's going on… Hello?"

As he waited for someone, anyone to answer, he felt a strange sense of something he couldn't place come over him. It was a bad feeling…an empty feeling, and suddenly, without warning, there were tears running freely down his face. Unfamiliar with such a thing, he reached up to touch them before realizing just exactly what was happening. "What's this?… I'm…crying? Why am I crying? I don't understand! Can anyone hear me?! Anyone?! I think I'm lost, or… I'm not supposed to be here! Please! Anybody! I need help!"

Again, there was no answer. No one to help. Discouraged but trying not to feel bad for himself, he forced the tears back and tried to get his bearings regardless of the fact he was still in pitch black darkness. Turning around to face it at every angle, he almost didn't catch the most subtle of change a good distance from him. Trying to see it, he started off in the direction of what he could only describe as a dim purple glow.

As it grew closer, he found himself walking quicker and quicker. His only hope was nothing but a chance. It could have just been an illusion brought on by confusion, desperation, or anything else, and he understood that enough, but there was no other choice for him. If the darkness was the last thing he would ever see, he would rather follow his whims towards the light.

"What in the world…" Finally coming up on the mysterious object, he was more confused than before. With his limited, or actually broken knowledge, there was no way to know that he had found an obsidian portal, but even without understanding anything, he could comprehend that it wasn't something to be be weary anything it was welcoming, but beyond that there was noticeably something more interesting and familiar further on. The sound of running water.

At first look, he wrote off the portal as nothing but a guiding light and even if he knew what it was, he would only end up in a hellish landscape where he would most certainly die. Leaving it behind, he followed after the slightly better and more familiar alternative. Step by step, he walked towards nothing in particular until the sound of his footsteps changed as they came into contact with what he believed to be a puddle of water but It didn't occur to him that he should move more cautiously as his shoes became weighed down. Sloshing through carelessly in the dark, it was only a matter of time before he fell without warning straight into a body of water.

As quickly as he realized where he was, it was too late to scream. His knowledge of how to swim had been taken away with his memory. The pull of the stream began dragging him off, and he could feel himself fading as he tried to rise to the surface somehow. He was going to drown. At least he was sure of it as he started to lose consciousness. One part of him wanted desperately to breathe again, but as the struggle weakened, the other part of him was telling him to give up. To let go and accept death. Even deeper, he couldn't stop trying to convince himself that he deserved it. In the dark, alone, and finally going as far to drown, it was impossible for him to feel clean of any hypothetical crime that may or may not have been committed. With nothing but his broken existence, everything seemed to fail as he blacked out.

His eyes flickered. There were voices that seemed distant. Returning from the brink of death, he was coming back and somehow, miraculously, he was still alive. Regaining his consciousness, all of the fear was rushing back; tears streaming freely down his face as the reality hit him that he was still among the living even after giving in to his weakness.

"Oh dear… Are you awake now?"

If it wasn't for a new soft sensation dragging him away from his dark thoughts, he would have certainly had a complete breakdown, but feeling someone else there beside him, the crushing anxiety died down enough to open his eyes and turn his sights towards the source of the concerned voice.

Who sat beside him, happy to see him conscious, both scared and intrigued him. She was a girl with beautiful flowing black hair, wearing something he could only describe as vibrant and red. What grabbed his attention the most though, of course, was the purple mark that spread across her face.

After realizing this, and enduring a bit of an awkward moment between them, she smiled, "It is a bit strange, isn't it?

He wanted to say no, well aware that staring at a stranger who must have saved his life was incredibly rude, but he couldn't say a word. It was shock, mostly. He almost died and what he woke up to was something so surreal that he couldn't possibly bounce back like nothing happened. What he needed was a breather or a break from surprises, but finally looking down to see her hand holding his, he completely forgot almost everything at once.

She realized that as well, gently taking her hand from his, "Sorry, I was really worried about you and it just kind of happened. It's so great to see you awake, though. We found you comatose by the river and brought you home. How are you feeling? Do you want anything?"

The red was pretty noticeable in his cheeks and the stranger whose generosity was so comforting to him was really bringing some kind of good feeling back, but his voice was just beginning to return. Still, he would try to say something to help her be more at ease, "I'm…okay."

Her smile was more vibrant than her clothes, "I'm so happy to hear that. I know you're still adjusting, but do you remember anything? Anything at all?"

"I…"

"Your name would be enough, if that's all you can tell me too."

It was strange but it seemed his senses were finally coming back to self awareness as he tried to think at her careful insistence, but like before, there was nothing coming back again. His head just ached in place of every missing memory, "My name… I can't…"

She watched his expression change from grief to loss and everything in between, "Hey, it's gonna be okay. You don't have to remember anything right now, alright?"

"But I feel like there's something wrong. I feel like I shouldn't…." looking up at her once again, there was so much despair, "Do you think it's okay for me to be alive?"

Her smile fell at the sight of him. It was such a heart breaking thing to hear from anybody, but in the time it her joy took to fall, it was already back, "Of course. Everyone deserves to be alive. You've done nothing wrong. There's no way you've done anything wrong and I'm gonna make sure you never feel that way again, I promise."

He wondered how her expression could stay so lively towards a suicidal stranger with nothing. With not even a name to be called,he had nothing to show he deserved it as he really just wanted to cry, "You-"

"Oh yeah!" she perked up like everything was always fine and reached out to take his hand, "My name is Nano, by the way. It's nice to meet you."

Shocked as he was when he first woke up, he had no words once again, but there was also something completely new too. He wanted to understand her. To be as happy as her. The feeling that she had experience dealing with his situation made him want to know the reason.

While he was completely blindsided by the way she handled herself and the situation so easily, she stood up out of nowhere and turned to leave, "I'm gonna go get Lalna and tell him you're awake now. I'll be right back, okay?"

It surprised him, but as she almost reached the doorway, his voice returned to stop her, "Wait! I want to ask you…why are you so willing to help me?"

At the sound of his voice and the lingering question, she paused and seemed to ponder what had been asked. He thought she would simply ignore it, but as she turned back round to face him, her expression was somehow stuck between happiness and sorrow, "Because I was once a hollow stranger in this land too, and with this scar and my dwindling sanity, I've often thought that maybe I shouldn't be here either. You and I are not so different it turns out. I'd help anyone who needed it, but seeing myself in you, I couldn't' possibly turn you away. That's why. So please, rest easy here. Everything will be okay. It'll always be okay."

Finally watching her leave with the bittersweet words she had trusted him with, he felt something he hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity. Happiness, warmth returning to remind him that such a thing existed, and a will to live on.


End file.
